A flailing butterfly

Outfit photos? Who is she? Is this 2013? Not to worry, you’re not caught in some time vortex, thought I feel like after the last three years going back to 2013 might be idyllic.

Anyway, I was out taking photos of my newly finished Disco Mirror and I had on a cute look to show off the mirror, and figured I’d throw in some outfit pic and try to get some new headshots. These pants are my absolute favorite pants. I’d wanted them for at least a year, but they were out of stock, and when I finally saw they were in stock I jumped at the chance to grab them. At $108 they’re definitely a splurge for me (almost all my clothes are thrifted, so it doesn’t take too much for something to be considered a splurge, lol), but I’m willing to shell out more when it’s a special item, well made, and something I know for certain I’ll wear constantly. The idea of cost-per-wear is something I used to think about a lot back in my fashion blogger days, which is basically just the idea of dividing the cost of the item by the number of times you wear it, so if something is more expensive, but you wear it a ton, then the cost-per-wear of the item goes down.

My style has really been hard to nail down since I had Jack, which now is almost 7 years ago (whoa). I used to be such a vintage fashion girlie, then more boho, but I’ve had such a hard time finding my style since becoming a mom. In the past six months I’ve felt like I’ve finally dialed in a style that feels really me. In a way, it’s just dressing in a way that my teenage self would look at me and think, “Damn, she’s cool as fuck.”

Top: Target // Pants: P&Co // Boots: Amazon // Necklace: Amazon // Jacket: Thrifted + customized

After my two month break from social media, I’ve felt a little like a flailing, newly emerged butterfly. I was so adept at my caterpillar life as a DIY content creator. I knew how to do things well, I got great feedback from the algorithm that my content was getting good reach, I was working with brands… and then I hit burnout and things started feeling weird. So I went in to my cocoon over the summer and it was lovely and rejuvenating… but what emerged at the end was startling and unrecognizable. I didn’t want to do DIY content creation anymore. I didn’t even like the moniker “content creator.” Over the summer I’d rediscovered my artist self, and she was begging to be given space in my life.

As I thought and journaled about it, I realized that my DIY content creator self was created in the aftermath of having Jack and feeling completely and totally untethered in the storm of new motherhood. I was straight up not having a good time, postpartum depression was taking its toll, and I just desperately needed something that was totally and completely mine. Something I could do that felt productive and creative. A place I could pour myself into and find myself again.

And I did! But along the way I also created this platform that was wholly devoted to DIY. I’d marketed myself as a DIYer for over half a decade. I’d built up something that wasn’t going to serve me as I moved forward into a more holistic expression of myself.

And don’t get me wrong, I love DIY. I have been a DIY girlie my whole life and will continue to be a DIY girlie. But the DIY girl is also an artist and has been since I could hold a damn crayon. In 4th grade we had watercolor paintings of the northern lights that our class made hung in the hall, and some lady wanted to buy mine. In 6th grade my teacher dubbed me the “poetry queen”. I went to college and got my art degree. And over the years I’ve made a life for myself where I’ve been able to be creative on a daily basis and I’m really really proud of me for doing that.

But the one thing I haven’t done is give myself the space to create art. I create a lot of stuff. I make rooms, I paint murals, I make disco mirrors, I design merch, I build furniture, I design my website— all of that stuff is sort of in service of something else. I want to make art that I can hang in a gallery. I want to write books. And I know that it’s not like what I’m currently doing isn’t art, but there’s a difference in my mind, you know? Maybe it’s the difference between “fine art” and practical art. If there is such a difference.

Either way, that’s where I’m at. A flailing butterfly who hasn’t quite figured out how wings work, but feeling less scared about this new body and way of moving through the world.

Desert Queen

Switching things up here for a sec. These photos are actually from September 2017, but I never posted them here, and I just recently found them again on an old hard drive and was reminded how much I liked this shoot. The dress was a 70’s wedding dress I found at Goodwill, the belt borrowed from my mom, and the hat borrowed from a local vintage/secondhand shop, Urban X Change. I needed some new images for my wedding photography portfolio (and just wanted to stretch my legs a bit creatively), so I pulled over along the side of the road near a perfect Joshua Tree grove and spent an hour drinking in the delicious evening light and playing around in a fancy dress in the desert.

Joshua Tree Dreamin'

Now that my kitchen project is almost done, my brain is buzzing with excitement for my next project, which is to re-do my '72 Winnebago Brave!  Back in 2016, just before taking her down the west coast on my Wildbride Retreat tour, I did a super quick reno on it, putting in new flooring, painting most of the walls white and yellow (I had planned on doing wallpaper on the other ones but didn't get it in time before I had to leave), painting the cabinets white, and ripping off the naugahyde on the dash.  I installed the copper pipe curtain rods and made the little white curtains with faux leather hang tabs, and did another copper pipe along the back window to hold books and things in place while we were driving.  It was a fast project, but it really changed how it looked, even though I never actually got around to finishing all the things I wanted to do.  

Fast forward two years and I would love to finally complete this project! 

• I think I'm going to rip out the floors I put in because there are some uneven spots in the subfloor that need to be fixed, and I want to put in a lighter wood. 
• I'm thinking of taking out the upper cabinets above the kitchen sink and stove (that account for quite a bit of storage, so I'm a little hesitant but I know it will open up the space significantly and make it feel way bigger, which is a big deal when it's a 20 ft RV. 
• I'd also love to actually reupholster the bench seats.  So far I've just been "slip-covering" them with blankets and fabric. Having a kid now, I'd like to get some kind of faux caramel leather that's easy to clean and wipe down.
• I'd like to finish the dash and maybe pull up the 70's carpet that's under the driver's and passenger seat up front and replace it with something different.
• I removed one section of the accordion pull down bed in the rear and turned into storage space, so I want to make that work a little better for storage, especially if we remove the upper cabinets in the kitchen.
• And I might replace the table for something more pretty.  

I'm hoping to get out of dodge here in the dead of winter because I do not do well in the grey, wet winters here in the PNW.  Dan's parents live in Joshua Tree, CA and I adore it there, So my goal is to get this ol' girl up and running (well, figuratively speaking, her engine runs fine... for now, fingers crossed!  She is old!) and head down there for an extended period of time.  By then I think Jack will be old enough that he'd have fun playing around on the rocks in Joshua Tree National Park, and of course his grandparents would love to spend time with him too.  And I get some much needed Vitamin D!  So many wins!

And speaking of National Parks, Parks Project sent me this cute Joshua Tree tee and bandana and hat (and a delicious pine scented candle too)!  I couldn't resist putting the bandana on Jack and Dusty.  Having spent lots of time enjoying the beauty of so many of our national parks on multiple RV trips, I'm a big fan of any company that is actively working to protect our national parks and protected natural landscapes here in the US.

Remixology | Three Outfits with One Jumpsuit Pt. 3

Of the three outfits I made with this jumpsuit, I think this one is my favorite! It feels like the perfect, summery farmer's market outfit.  I just need a basket full of fresh, local produce! I've really been loving wearing neck scarves lately.  Something about it works so well in a casual outfit, elevating the style just a bit, adding some interest, but not in a fancy way, you know?  And bonus: they're super easy (and cheap) to find at thrift stores!

Oh!  And my 10 year blogging giveaway for a $100 gift card to The Jungalow is still going on!  Click the button below to go enter!

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Remixology | Three Outfits with One Jumpsuit Pt. 2

I wanted to get a little more out of the box with this one.  When I saw this blouse with a tie at the neck and frilly 3/4 length sleeves, plus a fun floral print, I was down to try the combo out in an outfit!  I'm kind of obsessed with statement sleeves right now.  Anyone else?  I'm on the hunt for a short sleeve top with nice, big, architectural sleeves... 

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