fertility awareness birth control: an update

wanted to do a follow up to my posts on using the Fertility Awareness Method for birth control, but I wanted to have at least a year under my belt.  I'm on my 13th cycle now, so I've been doing it for a little over a year.  I went off my birth control pills in mid December 2013 and started charting.  You can read my posts about how it works and why I decided to go off the pill, and I did a follow up a few months into using FAM.

I feel pretty confident using FAM for birth control now.  That being said, it does pay to be consistent at charting, which I slowly became worse and worse at over the course of the year.   The last couple months I've redoubled my efforts to chart fully every day because it really does make the whole picture much clearer and helps me feel so much more confident in using this method, rather than leaving it to guesswork, which is a pretty shoddy method of birth control, or having to be even more careful to make up for not knowing where exactly I am in my cycle.

Even though it's a bit more work and takes some forethought, I like knowing that my body is doing it's own thing, rather than being flooded with faux hormones, throwing off my natural biology.  I haven't had a single migraine since I stopped taking the pill.  I never had them before I went on and after I started taking it I would get one every one to two months and didn't make the connection for about two years.  I did have a ton of hair loss about 4 months after going off the pill, but it's growing back now.  I learned that a lot of women experience hair loss a few months after giving birth, and since the pill works by tricking your body into thinking it's pregnant so it doesn't ovulate, when you go off the pill, it sort of simulates the effect of giving birth, since you're no longer "faux-pregnant".


Having used this method for over a year now, I would say that FAM is definitely for the responsible lady who is at least slightly open to the idea of getting pregnant.  While I think that, when done right, it can be absolutely just as effective as the pill as a birth control method, unless you're completely abstinent during the fertile time, you are taking on a small risk (hey-yo broken condoms.  It happens, y'all).  Plus, I also feel like it's best used in a committed, respectful relationship.  It's nice to be able to not use any form of barrier protection during non-fertile times, but it's definitely important for you partner to understand the utmost importance of using reliable protection if you choose not to abstain during the fertile window (and even reliable protection can become unreliable, shoutout to broken condoms again).

Even if you do end up having a barrier method fail on you, there are options like Plan B.  We had just such a situation occur and I used Plan B, but it messed up my cycle like crazy, y'all.  I'd used it once in the past and it didn't do anything to my cycle, but this time I didn't have a period for 3 months.  It was a little concerning and I definitely took multiple pregnancy tests to make sure I wasn't pregnant.  It was a little bizarre for me, and definitely interesting to see how those faux hormones really can mess with your body's natural rhythms.  I'm curious to see if it has an effect on future cycles, or if I'm back to normal now.



One thing I'm super excited about is Kindara's Wink thermometer.  I've used the Kindara App since I started using the Fertility Awareness Method in 2013, and they're coming out with a thermometer that automatically syncs with the app when you take your Basal Body temperature in the morning.  SO awesome.  Anything that makes tracking your cycle easier is awesome in my book.  Now I just need some kind of device that chills out in my vagina and monitors my cervical position and fluid and syncs to my phone.  Come on scientists/techy people, you've made Birth Control IUD's, how hard could it be?  I'll get on that preorder list ASAP.  (If only as much money and research went towards natural FAM birth control methods as pills/IUDs/etc!)

I've said it before, but even if you don't want to use FAM as your birth control method, I still think it's an incredible way to learn more about your own body and cycle.  I was taught so little about my body's monthly cycle of hormones and the biology of my fertility in my high school health class (think Mean Girls), and it's truly truly amazing what my body does every month to make it possible to create life (even if right now I'd prefer if we put off the whole life-making business).


Dan and I do want to have kids, and using FAM, being more aware of my body, and being more open to the possibility of getting pregnant has really made me think about it and mentally prepare for it.  I'll be turning 29 this year and I know I'd like to get that show on the road in the next year or two (or three), and using FAM has made me think a lot about having kids (or not having them) in a way that I never did when I was on Birth Control.  I know a lot of women do get pregnant even when they are using BC pills (even women who take it religiously!), but for me it was kind of like "out of sight, out of mind" in a way.  Being aware of my fertility and using FAM has made me think about starting a family a lot more than I used to, though it might be just because I'm getting a little older now.  I haven't had any Baby Fever (still skeptical that it exists, you guys), but I'm older now than when my parents had me, their oldest child, which does make me think more about timelines and such.  I know there's never the perfect time to have kids, and it'll always be hard, but at least now I'm open to the idea and have actually thought about it more in depth, which I feel like is the first part of preparing for it.

last photo by arrow + apple

coffee honey sugar scrub

e're coffee drinkers in my house, which means we end up with a lot of used coffee grounds.  I've been using a lavender coconut sugar scrub lately, but it's running low, so I thought I'd make one up using my excess coffee grounds!  A lot of people claim that coffee scrubs will reduce or eliminate cellulite, but I'm inclined to call bullshit on that.  Maybe, just

maybe

, it

slightly

reduces the appearance of cellulite, but I have no reason to believe that it does.  Also, for my thoughts on people who think we all need to remove every dimple of cellulite from it's existence on our bodies, just read

this

, because Amy pretty much summed it up.  But I digress.  I like coffee.  I like the smell of coffee.  Hence, I thought a coffee scrub sounded like a lovely and invigorating addition to my showers.

Even if coffee won't magically banish your dimply (glorious) thighs, it is awesome in other ways!  

 Coffee (obviously) contains caffeine which has anti-inflammatory properties that can help to heal skin and is also has lots of powerful antioxidants.  The abrasive texture of the coffee grounds and sugar sloughs off dead skin cells and gives your skin a fresh, radiant glow.  The coconut oil in this recipe is all kinds of awesome.  It has anti-bacterial, anti-microbial, anti-septic qualities, and can also soothe skin irritations and aid the healing process.  Adding essential oils is optional, but I wanted to throw some Tea Tree oil in mine because tea tree oil is pretty crazy awesome.  It's known for its antiseptic, anti-fungal, and infection-reducing benefits, has antibiotic properties

and

can help aid against ailments such as skin infections, rashes, burns, dandruff, the list goes on.  Seemed like an obvious choice to put in a skin scrub.  Lavender is also a great essential oil to use on the skin, but I was skeptical of how lavender and coffee would smell together.  But, hey!  I didn't try so maybe they'd be great!

Ingredients:

1 c coffee grounds

1 c sugar (for a more coarse scrub, use raw sugar)

1/2 c coconut oil

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg

2 tbsp raw honey

10-15 drops essential oil (optional, I used

Tea Tree Oil

)

Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.  Scrub on to the skin in the shower and then rinse  If you're worried about your shower drain clogging, cover it with a coffee filter to catch the grounds.  Store in an airtight container, like a mason jar, and keep in a cool, dry place.  Makes about 16oz of scrub.

favorite bras for small chested ladies

his past year I've completely changed my perspective on bras.  Growing up I gathered that once I was a woman I'd be endowed with overflowing breasts, and bras would be required to hoist them upwards to achieve a natural, pleasant décolletage.  Fast forward from prepubescence to late-20's and yo, look, it's never going to happen.  These small tits?  They're here to stay, and I've discovered that I rather like that.  As a teen I looked around at my peers' growing chests, and then down at my own modest chest, and hoped that one day I'd graduate to larger cup sizes, meanwhile compensating with underwire padded bras.  Unfortunately most bras were uncomfortable and due to my small shoulders, most bra straps would fall down about 100 times a day, driving me insane.  But I plodded on, strapping them on everyday, trying my best to get as close to an "ample" chest as possible (boys like boobs, right? I've heard boys like boobs), even though my boobs couldn't make cleavage if I tried smashing them together forcefully (they barely even touch with this method applied, so I'm not sure why a bra would have better results).   After high school I kind of lost interest in hoping for bigger boobs because it was clear it wasn't going to happen, but by then I had bought the lie that the only bra out there for me was an underwire padded contraption whose straps fell off multiple times per hour.  Whenever I bought a new bra, it was typically of that ilk.

In the last year I've stopped wearing most of the bras I have bought over the years.  Sometimes I don't wear a bra at all, and I've discovered that it's awesome.  Like, one of the most awesome things ever.  "Aren't you worried about your boobs getting saggy?"  NOPE.  In order for gravity to pull them southward there kind of has to be something there to pull.  Sorry, gravity, but you don't have much to grab onto.  Also, if they do end up sagging a bit after years of living life and possibly nourishing children, so what?  Once I realized that wearing a bra was really not doing much for me other than frustrating me and making me uncomfortable, I started looking around for bras that made sense for me and my body.  For someone who doesn't have much to hold up, but also wants the comfort of having them contained (or at least keep from nipping out too much) and the peace of mind that I'm not going to flash someone if I have a loose top on.  I wear quite a few sports bras, but sometimes they're a little to aggressive in the containment department and aren't comfortable for a full day's worth of wear.  Plus, I do like how a cute bra can make me feel sexier, so plain old sports bras aren't always going to do the trick for that.
1   |   2   |   3   |   4   |   5
Something that's great about wearing a more relaxed style of bra is that your bra size doesn't matter as much.  My cup size grew a bit when I was on birth control, so I had to go get new bras, and then after a year they went back to their original size.  With these bras I could go up a cup size (or probably two, though that's not gonna happen) and they'd still fit nicely.

Wearing bras like this make me feel like I'm loving my body in a whole new way, rather than trying to force it to be something it's not.  I never have to pull a strap back up onto my shoulder ever again.  I feel so much more comfortable wearing these bras than the underwire, padded contraptions I'd worn for 15 years.  I literally forget that I have a bra on all day and sometimes have to peek in to check if I actually put on one that morning.

Since the straps on most of these bras are so interesting and cool, they're awesome to wear with backless dresses where I'd otherwise be forced to wear a stick-on bra (or have a normal, ugly bra strap cutting across the back).  It's nice to be able to throw on a bra with visually appealing straps instead of trying to make a backless bra work.  So much more comfortable.

My mom bought me my first Coobie bra to try about a year ago after chatting about my shifting perspective in bras.  We have very similar body types and some years ago, after an injury from a car accident caused underwire bras to be too uncomfortable to wear, she began wearing this kind of bra.  After buying it for me she joked that she should apologize to Dan for giving me such an "un-sexy" bra, but the best part was that the first time he saw me wear it he asked if it was new and said it was really cute.  I like feeling sexy in my own way, and while I'm sure lacey bits are nice for some, I prefer a more casual, comfortable brand of sexy.  I'll take boyshorts and sports bras over thongs and pushup bras every day.



(undies in the top photo: c/o modcloth, bra in top photo: #2,  bra in third photo: #5, bra in bottom photo: #4)

diy deodorant

When I was at our local natural food store a few weeks ago I wandered into the deodorant section and found some Schmidt's natural deodorant.  I loved the scents and upon looking at the ingredients I decided I would do some research and try my hand at making my own.  I fell in love with the Cedarwood + Juniper scent and the Bergamot and Lime scent.  I had just ran out of Cedarwood essential oil, but I had Bergamot, so I decided to try making one that had a similar scent profile to Bergamot and Lime.  I didn't have lime so I substituted lemon and grapefruit (though I think lime is such a perfect pair with Bergamot).

If you don't want to use any scents, you can totally omit the essential oils.  I really want to make a cedarwood and/or spruce version to emulate the Schmidt's Cedarwood + Juniper scent.  I should probably wait until I use up all of my Bergamot batch though!  I really don't like any of the scents that women's deodorant comes in, it all smells overly flowery or like baby powder, I don't know.  I've always hated women's deodorant, so I love that I can customize my own deodorant to the kind of scents that I prefer.  Strong enough for a man, made for a woman?  What does that even mean?  Deodorant that smells "girly?"  So over the gender divide in products.  Can we just made deodorant for humans and razor blades for humans and stop assuming that every female of the species likes pink and floral scents?



Before making my own deodorant I was using mens Old Spice, which has a pretty strong smell, and this homemade deodorant has much more subtle aroma.  I figured Old Spice was mostly covering odors with the strong scent, so I was curious as to how well the homemade stuff would work.  I wore it to both my yoga classes and on the plane, two places I find usually cause more need for deodorant, and was pretty pleased with the results!

You should be able to find the ingredients at health food type stores, but if not I linked to each item on amazon.

(recipe adapted slightly from scratch mommy)
What you'll need
Double Boiler
4oz+ jar or container
1 oz Coconut oil 
3/4 oz Shea butter 
1/3 oz Oil (I used sweet almond oil, but avocado, jojoba, etc. work well too)
1/3 oz Beeswax
1/2 oz Arrowroot powder 
1/2 oz Diatomaceous Earth (Food Grade)
5 drops of Vitamin E 
25-30 drops of essential oils (I get mine here.  I used grapefruit, lemon, and bergamot)



In your double boiler, add the oils, shea butter, and beeswax.  I use a glass pyrex measuring cup over a pot of water as a makeshift double boiler and it works just fine.  Melt on low heat until everything is melted.

Turn off the heat and let the mixture cool for a few minutes, then add the Arrowroot powder, Diatomaceous Earth, Vitamin E, and Essential Oils and whisk everything until it's completely combined.

Pour into your container and place somewhere safe so it can set up, I just set mine in the fridge for like 15 minutes.

To use, just pull a bit out of the jar and rub between your fingers until it warms up and smooths into a spreadable consistency,  then just rub into your underarms!  This recipe is solid enough that you could also pour it into a twist-up deodorant container and apply it like you would normal deodorant, if you don't like the idea of rubbing it on with your fingers.

fertility awareness method: an update

So, about 6 months ago, in December, I decided to take the leap to quit taking birth control and use the fertility awareness method for my birth control method.  Of course every time I told someone they got those wide eyes and asked if we were trying to get pregnant, to which I had to insist that it was quite the opposite.  So far so good, at least!  It definitely means having to be more intentional and mindful, but I'm really happy to be taking charge of my own fertility.  And speaking of taking charge, if you want to use the Fertility Awareness Method, for either pregnancy avoidance or achievement, I absolutely recommend getting Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  It is packed full of pretty much everything you need to know about your cycle, how to use FAM, and has lot of appendices that address various problems and troubleshooting.  It's a pretty big book, kind of textbook-like, but I found it was a quick read as I was fascinated with the information and everything I'd never been told about my own body!  A lot of the pages are devoted to the appendices, or other issues that I didn't need to read about yet (like pregnancy achievement), so I found I only needed to read about half the book in order to know how to use FAM, but it's good to read the whole thing.  I think I'll probably read it again sometime soon, just to get a refresher.  

I had heard that, since I was coming off of using birth control pills for about two years, my cycles could be wonky for a while before they got back to normal, but mine went right back to being 28-30 days exactly, every month.  It was super exciting to track those first few months and learn about my own personal cycle.  I learned that I typically ovulate on the 18th day of my cycle, unlike how most sources insist on the typical 28 day, ovulate on the 14th day, cycle.

I was really good about tracking everything, temp, cervical position, and cervical fluid, my first few months but lately I've been lazier about it, mostly just tracking temperature.  I'd like to get back to being more thorough, though, especially since we're trying not to get pregnant.   Until this most recent cycle, I'd had very normal cycles, all ovulating around the 18th day, and lasting 28-29 days, but this last one I saw for the first time the effect of stress on my ovulation!  Haha, maybe that's just exciting to me.  Anyway, I think I mentioned in my earlier post about FAM, but the time from day 1 of your cycle to the day you ovulate can fluxuate based on stress.  The time from when you ovulate to when you start your next cycle is almost always the same number of days, in my case, usually 11-12.  The week I was supposed to ovulate ended up being mega stressful.  I learned I was starting the farmers market the day before I had to do it and Kristi was moving into the Winne and the kitchen was still torn apart from renovating it.  I was running around like mad and noticed that my temperature didn't spike on the 18th day, indicating that I still hadn't ovulated.  It didn't jump until the 22nd day, after all the stress had calmed down a bit.  My cycle that time was 32 days, much longer than my normal 28, but because I knew exactly what was going on, I didn't have to freak out about being "late."  It's really cool to know what's going on inside my body!



I do all my tracking with Kindara, which I've been loving.  It's so clean and simple to use, I'd absolutely recommend using it.  I'm not sure if it's available on Android yet, I don't think it is.  Of the tracking apps I looked at, this was the one that looked the best to me and I haven't had any desire to switch to anything else.  I had printed out paper charts to track with, but honestly, having this app I have no need to.  I have alarms set on it, so I track things at the same time each day, and my phone is always with me, so I don't have to remember to haul a sheet of paper around with me.  
Another cool thing you can do is set it up to track other things, so if you wanted to see if, say, doing yoga had an effect on the severity of your PMS symptoms, you could do that.  It also has a journal function where you can write more information about mood, diet, anything that you feel would be important to track.  


One unexpected thing that did happen about 4 months after going off of the pill?  I started shedding massive amounts of hair.  Like, crazy amounts.  Well, turns out it was basically faux postpartum hair loss.  Since the pill basically tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant so it doesn't drop an egg.  Once you go off the pill, it's sort of as if you've given birth and your body is getting back to it's normal cycles.

Many new moms are surprised to find themselves shedding more hair than usual in the first few months after giving birth, but it's perfectly normal. And there's no need to panic: You won't go bald. In fact, your hair should be back to normal by your baby's first birthday.
Here's what's going on. Normally, about 85 to 95 percent of the hair on your head is growing and the other 5 to 15 percent is in a resting stage. After the resting period, this hair falls out — often while you're brushing or shampooing it — and is replaced by new growth. An average woman sheds about 100 hairs a day.
During pregnancy, increased levels of estrogen prolong the growing stage. There are fewer hairs in the resting stage and fewer falling out each day, so you have thicker, more luxuriant tresses.
After you give birth, your estrogen levels take a tumble and a lot more hair follicles enter the resting stage. Soon you'll have more hair coming out in the shower or on the brush. This unusual shedding will taper off and your hair will be back to its pre-pregnancy thickness about six to 12 months after you give birth.

Having never given birth before, I didn't know this was a thing and was kinda freaking out for a hot second.  It lasted a couple months, but it's since tapered off and I'm not losing wads of hair every time I touch my head.  Of course, now I have a ton of short little baby hairs that are frizzy at my crown, but it's nice to know they're growing back!  My skin was also a bit more annoyed than usual, with more blemishes showing up on my face than normal, but it seems like that's tapered off as well.  I suspect just another case of hormones being haywire while trying to balance themselves.

One thing that I do like about tracking my cycles and using FAM is that I know exactly when it's possible that I even could be pregnant.  A few months ago I read an article that was pretty interesting, and frightening, about drinking while pregnant.   Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is a pretty big problem in Alaska, but not being a big drinker I never really thought much about it.

The trouble begins within days of conception, as alcohol consumed by the mother kills cells destined to become the building blocks of her baby's brain, organs and central nervous system. Her child may suffer memory lapses, learning disabilities and a range of behavioral problems, including dangerous impulsivity. 

In the most serious cases, the disability is called fetal alcohol syndrome. It punches holes in the brain's ability to process information and reshapes the child's face.

I'd never known that within the very first days after conception, alcohol can damage a baby.  I mean, I'm sure I'd known, but you don't even really think about those first few days after you might've conceived.  I know quite a few women, not big drinkers even, who joke about how they went out on a girls night or something right after they conceived, not knowing they were pregnant yet.

Today FAS is considered the leading cause of "intellectual disability," what used to be called mental retardation, in the Western world. Although wholly preventable, FAS is as common as autism in the United States...

The availability and toxicity of alcohol to a developing fetus both fuel the problem.
Alcohol is more likely to cause brain damage and lifelong behavior problems in unborn children than either crack cocaine or heroin, which can also harm the baby, according to The Institute of Medicine...

The damage can begin immediately after conception, when heavy drinking can kill the just-fertilized egg... 

At this point, less than a month after conception, most women still wouldn't realize they're pregnant.

Using FAM means I know exactly when during my cycle it's even possible that I could be pregnant, and I can make sure to be extra careful about drinking.  Even though I don't drink that much, or that often, knowing that drinking could effect a fetus, even just a few days after conception, for the rest of his or her life, makes me much more aware and mindful about when I choose to go out for drinks with friends.

Since I'm using FAM for birth control currently, and not pregnancy achievement, we always use a back-up method of birth control during the fertile period of my cycle.  Some people like to be even more careful and completely abstain during that fertile time, it just depends on what makes you feel most comfortable.  Obviously abstinence is the most effective form of birth control, but for some, abstinence for ~10 days out of the month just isn't going to fly.  Another thing to keep in mind is that using FAM requires a safe, monogamous relationship.  FAM can't do anything to keep you safe from STDs, so you need to know that your partner is trustworthy and monogamous and honest about any STDs they might be carrying.

Even if you're not looking to avoid or achieve pregnancy through FAM, I still think it's pretty awesome.  I love how much it's teaching me about my own body.  It's so practical to know about your own personal cycle.  If I ever have daughters they are absolutely going to know about this stuff, because I never learned any of it from my health and sex-ed classes in school, which I think is a total disappointment.  No woman should have to learn this stuff at age 27, they should know it when they have their first period, it's so important to understand what's going on!  And truly, it's fascinating too.  If more girls knew how amazing their bodies are and understood what goes on throughout their cycles I think they'd feel less ashamed of their bodies and more empowered.

*edited to add:*  I forgot to also mention that since I went off the pill, my migraines have completely stopped!  Before going on the pill I'd never had migraines, except maybe one or two my entire life.  During the two years I was on the pill I got one every month to two months.  Since going off the pill in December I haven't had a single migraine!